Sometimes, I fall into the trap of needing to chase the perfect experience. Of trying to have focus in everything that I do 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I fall into the trap of thinking like my life is a movie, where one scene flows purposely and seamlessly to the next scene, where every little hiccup here and there has some type of mind-bending mission.
As I know (and most of us know) in real life, that’s just not the case. Life is filled with distractions and interruptions and different ways that can throw us off our game. It’s filled with agitations and disturbances that can frustrate us and annoy us to no end – regardless of how world-changing or how trivial they may seem to an outsider’s eye.
For me, I recently got annoyed by my parents because of their constant interruptions, especially when I’m trying to focus on work or just enjoying something in the comfort of my own room. These minor disturbances build up until I just can’t take it and lash out in an unproductive manner.
For me, I need to do better. I will give myself a pat on the back for trying my best, but I know that there are more productive ways that I can use to channel my agitation and dissatisfaction.
I actually asked ChatGPT about this predicament, and it gave me some productive advice that I hope to implement one by one.
For example, sometimes, it’s okay to practice and accept that things will be imperfect. It’s the Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi, of understanding and knowing that reality is never some “pure” experience where we are simply focused and in a flow state all the time. Sometimes, we need to embrace the fact that interruptions will come and go. Sometimes, we need to understand that there will be black spots and cracks in a beautiful vase, and that’s simply being a part of an interwoven life.
It's a very therapeutic perspective from my point of view. I must admit though that it’s easier said than done. Sometimes, when you’re in the middle of that agitated state, you can get carried away and tell yourself unhealthy stories that make it seem like things are spiraling out of control.
In reality though, you have the power to control your response to these moments. You can use it as a challenge to build up your resilience. To not get hit by that “second arrow” which is the arrow of telling yourself unhealthy stories. To rework your stories into a more productive telling that helps you learn the next time around.
When I get into an agitated state, I try to reframe my mindset into a more positive viewpoint and tell myself that these things happen and that you’re trying your best. And that nobody in the world has it perfect and that there will always be certain problems and issues in life that you have to deal with.
Even Elon Musk, the world’s richest person thus far, has to deal with possible agitations and disturbances. And I honestly don’t envy his life.
I don’t know much about how other people deal with these minor agitations in life, but for me sometimes I’m grateful that the agitations I have are not world changing. The fate of an entire country or an entire world does not go through my hands. I am not some super billionaire that has the power to shape policies and laws and one simple slip-up and can lead to utter catastrophe. I’m simply a normal human being that is relatively obscure and I honestly prefer it that way.
Sometimes, you need these periods of agitation as well in order to truly appreciate the moments of flow and focus that come to you. It’s that typical saying of appreciating both the peaks and valleys that life has to offer because that is what makes the ride exciting and enjoyable.
Again, none of these advice is anything new or rocket science. It is simply about finding moments to practice what you preach and to live by your principles of gratitude, acceptance, and imperfection.
I know that my parents have good intentions and love me with all their hearts. I appreciate every big and little moment that I still have with them in my life. Yet at times, I still can’t help but get annoyed at them for little actions that they do or say, even when these actions are well-intentioned, I still find ways to shape them into unproductive thoughts.
So yes, I am a work in progress. I have my coping skills that I use to break free from disturbances and agitations, but I am also human and sometimes I do bend and even break a little bit. Regardless, these moments of “negativity” are moments where I can continue to practice my resilience and work on being a better human being.
I wish there is just some magic button that I can push that allows me to stay in a flow state for my entire life, but where is the fun in that? We all need a little bit of imperfection in our lives to keep us on our toes and build us into better long-term individuals.
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